So I wanted to see what these all said because I was bored. Here’s what I could make out:
- Five and three-headed monsters seek like for single room in on campus dorm. Must like soft jazz.
- Nice 4 bedroom Tudor close to frat row, ideal for students with a love of architecture or older homes.
- Smelly, dirty, 1-bedroom close to campus. Landlord pays for slime.
- Student housing needed for family of parasites. [Hand covering]
- I have advice concerning room rentals but have no room to rent. If you are interested in learning about room rentals please call: 555-0055
- Will deliver dirty laundry to any dorm address. Extra soiling is our specialty. Call Nick’s Nearly Clean
- Non-professional fang sharpening while you wait. Call the MU School of Monsterous Cosmotology for appointments x37373
- Term Paper Services! We can make papers for any aggreable terms of service. We specialize in non-legally binding papers.
- Unlimited weight gain guaranteed or your money back. Tired of seeing a skinny monster in the mirror? Try out patented weight gain product. Patent not related to above product. Call Pounds1
- Need help selling your car? We can clone any vehicle. Send cell sample to P.O. Box 19, MU School of Science, attn. Duncan. Results not guaranteed. Satisfaction assumed. Outcome expected.
- I found a couch. If you lost a brown couch with brown eyes and three rows of teeth, I found it roaming the mini quad of MU.
- Free mattresses! I have several mattresses that I have collected from several frat houses and dorms. Nice patina and aroma. Price negotiable but not cheap. Dale 555-0098
- Used desk chair wanted. Help a monster out! All my friends have used office chairs but my parents sent me a new one. I feel so left out! Why do they do these things to me. If you can help please call: ext. 3631
- Bookshelf for sale. Holds books. Not for use with knick-knacks or bric-a-brac. Call Dale 555-0112
- Cinder blocks suitable for building shelves. With proper wooden planks could be used for knick-knacks or bric-a-brac. Would not recommend using with books. Call Dale 555-0112
- Wooden planks for sale. Could be used for shelves to hold knick-knacks or bric-a-brac. Might be suitable for use with books. Buyer needs to supply own cinder blocks. Call Dale 555-0112
- Furniture missing from Dorm B! I returned to my room to find my cinder block and wood plank shelving system missing! If you have information concerning my shelves please call. I have no place to display my knick-knacks or bric-a-brac. Robert: ext 3731.
- Four students needed to move a large sculpture. One student if student is larger than sculpture Over four if students are small. If you are of mixed size please call 555-0035.
- Part time sales. Phone staff needed for grime promotion in your area. Big money!
- Student needed for part-time term paper writing. The subject of part time must be understood by applicants as paper will cover all aspects of part-time.
- Campus Store: The MU campus store is looking for qualified monsters looking to join our team! Long hours, little pay, no benefits, but a sense of camaraderie that can’t be beat! If you think you have what it takes to be one of the best, call Nick.
- Teeth aging and claw darkening test subjects needed for long-term study and short-term rewards. NO professionals needed.
- We’re looking for a few motivated monsters interested in making a difference. Call MU Math department.
- Do you have what it takes to join a winning team of professionals working to make the world a safer place? If the above sounds like you, consider a career with the Child Detection Agency. We offer competitive benefits long hours, and emotional fulfillment.
- Drummer needed for fusion jazz combo. Must like science fiction and walks in the rain. No hipsters.
- Nice car, no doors. Perfect for large monster on a budget. $500 obo.
- Late model speedster, five steering wheels, seven seats, head room for 12, no leg room. Watertight with burlap upholstery. Not for the first-time driver. This beauty is a classic and has been well cared for. High miles, bad mileadge. Burns oil. Serious offers only.
- Lovely, older sedan converted to run on bio-screams. Show your love for the environment. Show the man what you think of his scream energy policies! Call anytime after 12am or you can find me at the [Hand cover]…
TL;DR Don’t trust Dale.
All That Remains
Goliath from Gargoyles. You have no idea how badly I want Disney to make Gargoyles an animated feature. I’m on a personal mission to remind people how awesome this show was. You’d be surprised how many people I’ve talked to that have never heard of it. Lets start a petition or something.
Star Trek: TNG, a summary.
"I’m going to hunt down the shit-for-brains inventor of this crooked game and pull his inspiration out through his arsehole. Probably some smart-arsed salarian bastard."
Or, you can link your mind with the energy of all existing matter, channeling the collective power of the universe through your gem…
At least, that’s my way of doin’ it
remember that episode where ash fucking died
Tales From The Borderlands Coming from TellTale Games
Take your crazy wild characters of Borderlands and mix it with the amazing storytelling of TellTale and you got yourself a hell of a cool new adventure series from TellTale.
WHAT OMG WHAT WHAT WHATSHADFADSFLFKJSDHB
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